The Little Things

Lately I've had a lot of time to myself to sit back and reflect.  Not just upon me or my life, but upon the little things which surround each of us everyday.  For example, just today I walked out of my building to smell the fresh scent of lilac filling the air.  With spring upon us, the trees and flowers are starting to be in full bloom again and it was a pleasant surprise.  The scent took me back to my childhood and growing up in my little town with my mother and sister.  It reminded me of long days in summer being spent playing in the yard, on the old wooden swing set and with my sister.  The imaginary games.  Active. Loud. Quiet.  All of the emotions, hopes, and dreams I had back then seemed so simple. The innocence of childhood has stuck in my mind all day.  The thoughts and feelings I had left me in a very light and cheerful mood.  One simple smell changed how my entire outlook on the day was going to be.  After today, I've contemplated how often I have encountered these little surprises in life and have not noticed them.  It does not matter what or who you believe sends them into your life, take the challenge of finding them each and everyday.  They appear for a reason: To remember. To listen. To smile. Think. Change. They're there for you to decide what to do with them. So do something. "Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." ~Les Brown

Overdue

Fours years. The time doesn't even seem real anymore and here I sit wondering how much of those four years I truly wasted. Setting my future, making my life plans: Where I would live, who I would marry and what we would name our kids. Maybe I was too naive to think it was too good to be true. In those four years I never thought about wanting someone else or that there may be someone else out there waiting for me. Apparently I was alone even though everything he said and did told me otherwise. When reality finally slipped away and the illusion was created, I will never know. He left without a warning. No explanations. Not even a goodbye. I was left thinking things were just fine and left to assume he'd be back to explain everything. I was left to feel ashamed that I didn't even pick up on him wanting someone else. Distance wasn't the excuse, you were the excuse. I deserved the truth through you, but instead I was left to find out through someone else that you were happy somewhere else without me.
The past four months are shattered  and somehow he can magically pick up and be happy with this mystery girl, even start a family only after a matter of months. I tried to convince myself that it was a one time mistake that he just had to pay for, but i'm tired of fooling myself... We were so close to having forever that I could almost touch it. Where did everything go wrong? What did I do to be treated this way? These questions will forever go unanswered...I wasn't enough, so he found better. I would have given him the moon and all the stars in the sky, but I guess she offered more...I hope she gives you everything I couldn't and I hope one day you think of me and realize you can never go back from this. To the moon and back is the closest you'll ever get to me again

~Broken Hearted